ORIENTATION # 387: OBEY !
Why women are more familiar with the possibility to fall into abusive situations (more or less consciously) rather than men ?
And why, according with universitarian research works, along the last 30 years the percentage of abuses increased of the 350% ! ?
It is impossible to answer these questions only personally, nor subjectively...
There must be a historical and collective inquiry disintegrating social conditioning's and psychological superficiality (the matter is serious!).
First of all, in case of abuse, the idea that -after all my partner is my partner and I do love my partner- must be destroy ! :
An abuse is an abuse; it has nothing to do with love nor with relationship:
he who says -'I love you, that's why I care, manage and protect your life because I'm smarter than you and you are not intelligent'- ..is a person that must be pushed away immediately.
The petty abuser has nothing to do with any possibility to establish a mutual understanding which is what a relationship must be.
The abuser (when he is not a simple scam artist) abuses because the abuse is required to cultivate and nourish the power he needs to fill up the psychological holes of his existential insecurity.
The sentimental perception, the mnemonic database, the emotional engagement must not be filters to observe and tollerate the abuser... otherwise, by doing so, the abuser will always use and abuse of our sentimental bond to fulfill his miserable need of power... then turning that bond against the abused person itself ... generating discomfort, confusion, lack of self-observation, fear and even violence.
There is not more or less abuse: there is just abuse or not abuse, that's all.
If you tolerate the abuse then that's not taking place because you are an understanding person who tolerates the abuse... but rather it happens because you are abused !
Please realize this condition.
The reason why women are more subjected and familiar to abusive conditions rather than men ....and the reason why there is so often, (the majority of the cases), a form of psycho-behavioral blindness regarding the abuse or even voluntary submission.. are reasons that have to be found historically:
The history of mankind is not the history of mankind ... as like the word 'mankind' itself suggests : it has always been the history of 'a kind of man' ... meaning: the history of men, not really the history of men and women together...
The human society has been founded on a logical base... not an emotional one, neither a perceptive one... : therefore not intelligent.
Hobbes in his theorem suggested the very realistic theory in which, in a certain point of the history, humans chosen society instead of freedom...
And so it happened.
The brain of males is more connected with the left part (logical, pragmatical, rational) while the woman brain tends to work mostly with the right part (emotional, creative, imaginary).
Within a society almost entirely based based on mere rational choices... then the emotional thinking is not appropriate 'cause emotionality has no structures and having no intellectual structures it cannot match authority.
Women create the human life and women tend to think more emotionally rather then pragmatically... therefore in a social system founded on pragmatical thinking, therefore authoritarian thinking, the beings who create life and simultaneously tend to think mostly emotionally rather then pragmatically ...must be controlled, brainwashed and contained in a situation of inferiority ..inwardly and outwardly...
Each culture shaped the female type of human into a condition the goal of which was, is and it has always been the acceptance of inferiority (therefore the acceptance of authority).
The way an abuser works with the abused... by installing an idea of inferiority within the abused mind .. is actually (it's not a case) the same way the governments and the MAN-manufactured 'gods' (god is male) operate with the masses:
the formula (and its ingredients) is not that difficult to get:
-You are not smart as I am but I do love you and I will care on you
-You must fear me but ..believe me: I do it for you !
-You will see: I will change... It will change...
Which means : sustain authority : obey ! (you are no capable to manage your life)
: if you profoundly think and independently inquire in these things ... and you find yourself, even just partially, in the points above.. then you are involved into a psychological abusive relational regime.
If you deny the manipulability of such a constrictive relationship, its potential psychological violence, its petty authority, its miserable bonds... then please realize that you are not just involved into an abuse (feeding it through your conditioned emotions & corrupted/abused ideas regarding the source or the person/source of the abuse)... but rather: you are abusing of yourself as well.
If you let open doors to the manipulators ...then you allow them to shape you into the manipulator of yourself !
There cannot be pure intelligence, not improving of it in the mind who refuses to face and dismantle the self-manipulation inward...
nor there can't be mutual, relational and collective evolution outward... but mere authority changing its petty masks all the time...
There can't be end of psychological fear is we hold abusive thinking...
There cannot be the end of the abuse if we deny the possibility to locate, inwardly, therefore to fully dismantle the relationship we are having with the abuse.
Indeed the real abuse is not exactly the abuse as a fact & condition in itself...
but rather it is the way we react, the relationship we feed with that fact & condition...
Please (especially women) if you find yourself even just a little bit close to the characteristics mentioned and faced above... then isolate for a while your sentimental bonds and your mnemonic attachment... and at least try to think radically and profoundly about these things ...
It is your life what you are living... not a joke !